FAQ: My wife or partner is pregnant

My wife or partner is pregnant

The news may be a complete shock to you. Perhaps you feel okay about it. Perhaps you feel angry that it’s happened. Perhaps you feel desperate to ‘do something’ about it.

Whatever you’re feeling, your response to the situation will affect your partner.

Find out what your partner is expecting of you in this situation. Many men feel at a loss about how to help their partner when facing an unplanned pregnancy. A first instinct is often to say, ‘whatever you choose, I’ll support you’.

This sounds positive but your partner may interpret it to mean: ‘The decision is yours. I’ll go along with what you think. I don’t want to take responsibility.’ Whereas some women might welcome this attitude, some feel that the decision making process becomes more difficult as a result.

It is important that you are supportive of your partner, but still able to persuade and influence against going down the abortion route. Use some good pro-life literature.

Some couples pull apart and place the ‘problem’ between them. This can cause tension and conflict. Stand with your partner as much as you are able. Tell your partner, kindly, what you honestly feel about the pregnancy. Don’t assume she knows what you think. Be clear but not pressurizing.